We're Back! Bigger and Better Than Ever!

Hello faithful readers! Did you miss us? We're back from the wonders of the cottage and as the title suggests, these babies have become little boys in the two weeks we were away! So much has happened that I'm a little daunted about writing this post, but I figure if I take it nice and slow, I'll manage to capture some of it! There may be a few pauses in my writing for feeds though, so this could take a while! Nice and slow, that's the plan.

So first of all, the big news is that on Christmas Eve Day I made up my mind to stop breastfeeding. As many of you know, this was a huge decision for me. Breastfeeding was something I struggled with from day one, but was really reluctant to formula feed. I think my reluctance was mainly based on the unbelievable pressure from nurses, prenatal classes and what I felt was the world in general. In Ontario, if you don't breastfeed, you are a terrible, terrible mother. And since my main goal in life always seems to be to make everyone like me, this was not something I was prepared to "fail" at. However, from the very beginning, breastfeeding hurt! And I was never sure the babies were getting enough milk. When the doctor told me at our last visit that she wanted me to supplement the boys with a bottle of formula after the first breastfeed in the morning to increase their weight a little, I was more than happy to. She said to give them another bottle after the next feed if it seemed like they would take it. Well let me tell you, the babies would guzzle back the bottle after nursing with me for over an hour. I just don't think they were getting enough to gain the weight they should. To top it all off, the boys, especially Owen, were getting more and more frustrated as they nursed, having screaming fits as I tried to feed them. They would eventually calm down, but it was upsetting for them and for me - I was so tense I'm sure it affected the milk flow. So after about a week of giving them 4 oz of formula after ever shift on the ol' boob, with Owen and Will getting more pissed off at having to struggle to get anywhere at the breast and with me experiencing more and more pain as I fed them, I thought "This is ridiculous! I'm making up bottles of formula for every feed anyway, I might as well make this easier for all of us!" and the rest is history.

I did feel terribly guilty at first for some bizarre reason, but then as I saw these guys feeding well, gaining weight and sleeping better, I gradually relaxed. The only bugger was that my body didn't realise that it didn't need to keep producing milk, so I had to do everything I could to prevent massive leaks. My body has almost cottoned on to the fact that this stuff it keeps trying to pump out isn't actually being enjoyed by anyone, but the situation is a lot better. Instead of changing nursing pads every hour, I'm now down to one or two changes a day. Much much better. And since bottle feeding meant that other people could also feed them the boys, I was able to sit back and relax a bit at the cottage, as Auntie Karen or Gran took over. I even read a book!

Here is a picture of Mark and I feeding the guys


But most importantly, the boys have gained weight. They're both turning into little chub-a-lubs, and I just love it. Maybe its the age they're at now, but they also seem happier. Less fussing, more smiling, as demonstrated here by Will:

But Christmas was also a great time for the boys to cuddle with their grandparents, who were quite smitten with their little boys! Lots of cooing and giggling, and that was just from Susan and Bill!
I have more photos to add of Christmas Day, but I'll post them above shortly.

We also had a lovely New Year with our friends Annie and Paul. They decided to forgo the child-free party they could have had, since they are young, hip and carefree Beautiful People. They decided that a night of bottles (of formula), burgers, beer, babies and burps (from babies as well as from beery boys) was a far better way to ring in the New Year. We had a great time, and I even managed to stay awake until 1am! This was partially due to the fact that at midnight, Will and Owen decided that they were hungry and we had to feed them. Otherwise I would have been in bed by 12:15!

And now it is January 2nd and my darling husband (who bought me a new laptop by the way, and thanks to him I am inspired to sit at the kitchen table with this gorgeous piece of technology and write to you all) has reluctantly gone back to work and I am once again alone at home with two small little beings and my doggy. And speak of the devils, the doggy wants to go out for a pee and the little beings want to be fed. So off I go, but I promise there will be more soon!

Hope you all had wonderful holidays and I can't wait to hear from you all!